The transgender book
Community in Transition

is now provided  directly through
the printer and through over
14,000 retailers in 32 countries
.

Click book's blue cover below to order

Thank you, The Infamous Todd Kachinski Kottmeier

book community in transition, transgender, tampa phoenix, florida arizona, ftm mtf, transitioning, glbt, lgbt, tranny
Click blue book to order
        We sent over a thousand invitations to the transgender community around the world asking them to share wisdom, advice, and compassion for those questioning or struggling. No restraints, using topics they created, as they guided the conversation over forty chapters and fifty topics. By the close, these remarkable people had created the largest compilation book in transgender history. They opened their heart with these words.

NOTE: This book is "lightly edited" to reflect the intent and form of over one hundred transgender contributors. Unedited photographs "before and after" come from actual contributing transgender writers.

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          Terminology within the transgender community varies and has changed over time so we recognize the need to be sensitive to usage within particular communities.

                                                                                                         Source: National Center for Transgender Equality
                
Transgender: A term for people whose gender identity, expression or behavior is different from those typically associated with their assigned sex at birth. Transgender is a broad term and is good for non-transgender people to use. "Trans" is shorthand for "transgender." (Note: Transgender is correctly used as an adjective, not a noun, thus "transgender people" is appropriate but "transgenders" is often viewed as disrespectful.)

Transgender Man: A term for a transgender individual who currently identifies as a man (see also “FTM”).

Transgender Woman: A term for a transgender individual who currently identifies as a woman (see also “MTF”).

Gender Identity: An individual’s internal sense of being male, female, or something else. Since gender identity is internal, one’s gender identity is not necessarily visible to others.

Gender Expression: How a person represents or expresses one’s gender identity to others, often through behavior, clothing, hairstyles, voice or body characteristics.

Transsexual: An older term for people whose gender identity is different from their assigned sex at birth who seeks to transition from male to female or female to male. Many do not prefer this term because it is thought to sound overly clinical.

Cross-dresser: A term for people who dress in clothing traditionally or stereotypically worn by the other sex, but who generally have no intent to live full-time as the other gender. The older term "transvestite" is considered derogatory by many in the United States.

Queer: A term used to refer to lesbian, gay, bisexual and, often also transgender, people. Some use queer as an alternative to "gay" in an effort to be more inclusive. Depending on the user, the term has either a derogatory or an affirming connotation, as many have sought to reclaim the term that was once widely used in a negative way.

Genderqueer: A term used by some individuals who identify as neither entirely male nor entirely female.

Gender Non-conforming: A term for individuals whose gender expression is different from societal expectations related to gender.

Bi-gendered: One who has a significant gender identity that encompasses both genders, male and female Some may feel that one side or the other is stronger, but both sides are there.

Two-Spirit: A contemporary term that refers to the historical and current First Nations people whose individuals spirits were a blend of male and female spirits. This term has been reclaimed by some in Native American LGBT communities in order to honor their heritage and provide an alternative to the Western labels of gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.

FTM: A person who transitions from "female-to-male," meaning a person who was assigned female at birth, but identifies and lives as a male. Also known as a “transgender man.”

MTF: A person who transitions from "male-to-female," meaning a person who was assigned male at birth, but identifies and lives as a female. Also known as a “transgender woman.”

Sex Reassignment Surgery: Surgical procedures that change one’s body to better reflect a person’s gender identity. This may include different procedures, including those sometimes also referred to as "top surgery" (breast augmentation or removal) or "bottom surgery" (altering genitals). Contrary to popular belief, there is not one surgery; in fact there are many different surgeries. These surgeries are medically necessary for some people, however not all people want, need, or can have surgery as part of their transition. "Sex change surgery" is considered a derogatory term by many.

Sexual Orientation: A term describing a person’s attraction to members of the same sex and/or a different sex, usually defined as lesbian, gay, bisexual, heterosexual, or asexual.

Transition: The time when a person begins to living as the gender with which they identify rather than the gender they were assigned at birth, which often includes changing one’s first name and dressing and grooming differently. Transitioning may or may not also include medical and legal aspects, including taking hormones, having surgery, or changing identity documents (e.g. driver’s license, Social Security record) to reflect one’s gender identity. Medical and legal steps are often difficult for people to afford.

Intersex: A term used for people who are born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy and/or chromosome pattern that does not seem to fit typical definitions of male or female. Intersex conditions are also known as differences of sex development (DSD).

Drag Queen: Used to refer to male performers who dress as women for the purpose of entertaining others at bars, clubs, or other events. It is also sometimes used in a derogatory manner to refer to transgender women.

Drag King: Used to refer to female performers who dress as men for the purposes of entertaining others at bars, clubs, or other events.

Contents

 

Lost in a feeling…

 

  • At what age did you first question your sexuality?

  • When you began to question your sexual identity (i.e., your gender identity), what was your greatest fear of speaking aloud about it the very first time?

  • Which defines you the closest?  Before you get offended by the word "define," let me explain... I need to prove this support group book is created by the trans* community. To make this statement factual, I ask at this point only one of the following proceed. 

  • What single term is most acceptable to define transgender or transitioning people?  <Yes, we should not have to define each other.>

  • What are the top books you would suggest for those transitioning? Please note if this is In-General, Male to Female, or Female to Male, so I can place them correctly in the book. I will collect the ISBN number for you, so the reader can find the book.

  • Which best describes you? We need this statistic to show readers they are not alone.

  • Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual, Pansexual, Polysexual, Asexual...

 

Breathe, Breathe, 1001, 1002…

 

  • When you began to question your sexual identity (i.e., your gender identity), what was your greatest fear of speaking aloud about it the very first time? Use the box in the next comment field to post details of the actual reaction. Use this comment field to post your fear.

  • Which person did you first approach regarding confusion of your gender identity? How was it handled?

 

 

First Responders

 

  • In the beginning, other than posting yourself, which person became your best ally? Also, explain what made them an ally?

  • In the beginning, which important person in your life became your worst hater? Please explain their role and their criticism. The next question will address how you handled the criticism.

  • How did you handle the criticism, the anger, of the first person to express hatred?

  • In the beginning, how did you handle any anger towards less important or unimportant people in your life?

 

Sticks and Stones

 

  • What is the worst thing someone did to hurt you emotionally (not physically) because you were transitioning?

  • What is the worst thing someone did to hurt you physically (not emotionally) because you were transitioning?

  • What common word used to describe transitioning mostly offends you?

  • Explain why the word offends you.

 

  • Describe your feelings about transgendered entertainers performing in “drag shows“.

  • Can you explain a positive path to restoring family relationships lost or maintaining family relationships during transition?

  • How do you address the public and management when using gender assigned public restrooms and public lockers (such as a gym) when they are open to everyone of the same sex? First, I need your polite conversation before you address it sternly.

 

Lost and Found

 

  • Who was the most important person lost during transition that later came back on their own? What restored the relationship? What brought the walls down?

  • Are you the first person in your family to transition? Have others in your family transitioned?

  • Do you look up to anyone transitioning as mentor or role model? Who? Why?

  • There are many confusing discussions about transgender-gay-lesbian interaction.

  • Do you believe that including transgender in the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) acronym adds to or subtracts from the confusion? Explain.

  • Did you lose many friends during transitioning? Explain how you emotionally stabilized your life following their loss?

  • Do your parents refer to you as your documented sexual identity of birth, or do they now reconfirm your real gender? Explain.

 

In God We Trust

 

  • In the beginning, were you able to turn to your religion for strength? What? Where? Which religious network do you use now for strength? What? Where?

  • If you were religious before transitioning, how did you reconcile your transitioning within formal beliefs of your religion/church? Do not reply to this question if you were never a religious person.

 

A Family Affair

 

  • Do your parents refer to you as your documented sexual identity of birth, or do they now reconfirm your real gender? Explain.

  • Married with children (or not...). If you are already in a relationship before transitioning, when do you talk with your partner about gender identity and your transition?

  • Explain a successful approach to such a discussion.

  • Explain a successful path for such a discussion.

  • Same question, but now discussing your children.

  • When and how do you talk with your children about gender identity and your transition?

 

 

Friends

 

  • When do you tell someone interested in you as a friend of your gender correction? How? Why?

  • How do successfully handle losing a partner unable to handle your transitioning?

  • If they were able to make the transition with you but struggled later, what were the complications? Were you able to fix the relationship? How?

 

Employment

 

  • How do you successfully handle discrimination during the interviewing process when looking for employment?

  • How do you successfully handle discrimination looking for employment during the interviewing process?

  • How do you successfully handle co discrimination by fellow workers during employment?

  • How do you successfully handle discrimination by managers during employment?

  • How do you successfully handle discrimination by customers, clients, patrons during employment?

 

Building a Foundation

 

  • In the beginning, were you able to find a social network for strength? Who? Where? If you stopped using them, “Why?”

  • Which social network(s) do you use now for strength? Who? Where?

  • Laws are constantly changing. A law in Phoenix will not apply in Chicago. A law in California will not translate to New York or Florida. Federal laws change from one day to the next. In the beginning, did you need to and did you find a legal network for transition assistance? Who? Where? If you stopped using them, “Why?”

  • Which legal network do you use now for assistance? Who? Where?

 

Doctor, Doctor, Give the News

 

  • What is your medicine regimen since the start of transitioning: vitamins, homeopathic regimens, prescriptions? Which personal benefits, risks, and harms did you observe?

  • Have you had surgery to align your anatomy to match your correct gender? If so, when did you decide to make the change, where did you go, how much did it cost?

  • What were three positive aspects of the change and three negative aspects?

  • How did you adjust successfully to the three negative aspects?

  • Were there options for low-income people to transition?

  • If you had any of the gender confirmation surgeries, what were the greatest risks of the operation and recovery?

  • Did the pain and “final results” match what you expected? How did they differ?

  • What changes in future operations do you foresee for others?

  • Do/did you need additional corrections? Explain. Did you have any regrets?

  • If you had the operation, what were the greatest risks of the operation, regret, and recovery?

 

Love, American Style

 

  • When do you tell someone interested in dating you of you gender correction?

  • What advice do you give to someone trying to have this dating conversation?

 

Iron Butterfly

 

  • How did you pick your name?

  • Have you corrected your driver’s license to reflect your correct name and gender?

  • How did you change the gender status?

  • When did you finally make the legal changes?

  • Have you corrected other legal documents such as Social Security, passport, birth certificate?

  • Did you have you overcome any difficulties? How?

  • Discuss positive conversations you would share with someone who is politely confused on “transgendered people“.

  • Explain your viewpoint if they ask, why you “choose” to transition, or if you are just a cross-dresser or doing drag, or why you do so when you know people might bring you harm?”

  • Did you legally change you name to match your correct gender? If so, when did you finally make the legal change? How did it affect your family?

 

Lost in a feeling…

 

  • Do you regret transitioning? When? Why? If you are scared or worried about your need for transition, what do you do to get yourself in a positive frame of mind? How often do you struggle with this decision after transitioning?

  • One last hug before you go, “You are not alone.” What would you say to these people to bring them comfort?” 

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